do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
