the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
