my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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