I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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