Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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