wat bout pragnant strippers??
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
