The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You were trust falling into bushes
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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