It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
