i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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