Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
