jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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