This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
