You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
