Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
