you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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