I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
