when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
