I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
