Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
