It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
