I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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