i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
