what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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