dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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