im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
