I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
