How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We have started to decorate penises.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize