Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
