So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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