Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize