I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
