So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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