I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
