Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
