Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
