that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
