I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
