My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
