So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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