Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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