just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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