If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
