Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
