you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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