Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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