I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
