I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
being pregnant is like rehab
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
