I'm lost and stupid without you.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
