were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
