two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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