Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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