Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
