Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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