Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
he just fucked me for my cheese.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
