I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
