and she was petting her beer can
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
And then he peed in my hair
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