So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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