Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
