I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I love having hate sex.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
